I started Relationship Refinery as a place I could write out ideas in a cohesive way- completely at odds with how my mind works, which is: Have one central idea, then have flashes of other, COMPLETELY RANDOM things I feel are related to the MAIN THING somehow.

If you know me personally, you know this is how I talk. I blame my dad- he will give a speech and relate cow manure to celestial glory or something. It takes awhile to get there, but listen long enough, and I’ll get to my friggin’ point through the strangest of illustrations.

Writing ideas down is my version of taking shapeless matter and molding it into something concrete.

Initially I had a lot of thoughts on dating, marriage, and self. But the more I wrote about them and tried to keep them secular, the more I found that literally every part of my life from business to marriage is informed by my spiritual practice.

Thus began the conflict. Some of the first people reading my essays were non-religious people. Whenever I wrote something about the LDS church I felt like I was at best annoying, and at worst betraying, my non-religious readers.

This whole silly struggle existing only inside my own brain, which no people outside of my brain were even considering, all but put a halt to my public writing. I didn’t want to put anything on Instagram that was too religious, because it felt like I was forcing people into seeing it since they had to follow me out of social obligation and to see my kids.

So I did something I never thought I’d do. I started a feed just for LDS specific writing. I didn’t think I had that much to say on the matter, but apparently I do because until I started writing on the new feed, I could not think of anything else to write about.

It’s like my pipeline was clogged up by Jesus thoughts and once I got those out, I could finally write about relationships again.

The feed is on Instagram and it’s called @LightRefined.

Soon I’ll be posting the essay that is the foundation of LightRefined- the thing I’m most passionate about in terms of the LDS community, Christ’s Gospel, and why I wanted to put my voice out there in this way.

It’s something I’ve held onto for almost a year, not knowing quite how to say it. But when I told myself I could create a space that people could OPT-IN to hearing about it, it would be their own dang fault if they didn’t like it, and they could unfollow and still see pics of my cute kids on the personal feed. WHY DO I THINK LIKE THIS?

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, please follow my new account on Instagram. I already did a bunch of posts without telling anybody because I wanted to get in the habit of not worrying about offending any of you with my unique brand of Mormonism. Or LDSism. Not sure the correct term here, but the tagline for the account is this:

Realist/Believer/Empathizer. For the Religious Wanderer, LDS Fence-Sitter, Struggling Disciple; Giving up cultural norms in favor of pure light.

That about covers all of you, and I need your voice added to the currently nonexistent conversation. It’s my goal to get all of you speaking up about uncomfortable topics so we can usher in a new brand of LDSism that knows how to navigate the messy middle ground where many of our members live- particularly our young ones. I need your help to spread the word, or share goodness or however you want to hashtag it.

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